I realized that some people have a hard time believing that I could be a recovering alcoholic and that my favorite place to hang out happens to be a pub.

It's not just an ol' pub. (But even than wouldn't matter, you could march me into any pub on the planet and could not force me to down a shot.)

Five blocks from my house, it's a wacky Country Western dive. I happen to live in a corner of the United States where country music isn't that popular... this happens to be the only one within our city limits. Before I had decided on absolute abstinence, I spent at least two hours a day (every day) for two years visiting with the various patrons. I made friends... people I value.

It's common in recovery for newly admitted alcoholics to feel the need to isolate themselves from the people and places where they used to share drink. For most, this is a good choice. For me, it didn't really seem necessary.

I happen to have made the kind of friendships there where I only have to tell someone my situation once. Almost overnight, shots were replaced with non-alcoholic beverages. If someone I didn't know tried to buy me an alcoholic beverage, the bartender would serve me my preference of hot water and cranberry juice instead. There isn't a single soul there that would pressure me to put booze in my stomach. In addition, everyone there loves and respects my husband... messing with me would be messing with our family... and anyone bothering me would be kicked out before they'd be allowed to disturb or hassle me to the point of accepting a drink I expressly said I did not want.

You know, this kind of courtesy is not uncommon in bars and pubs. If you were once a drunk there, the bartenders who became your friends grow to genuinely care about you. If you want to abstain, they're not going begrudge it.

I have so many friends who work as bartenders and even own their own bars. Not one of them has made me feel uncomfortable for staying dry. They tell me they miss seeing me.... they tell me that I'm making a healthy choice. I couldn't imagine a single one ever making me feel like an ass for my choices... to abstain from alcohol, to have money for hobbies, and to be home by 7pm and in bed by 9.

And there's a reason. Sure, bartenders make money off the drinks they pour... but they lose a little bit of their souls every time they see someone they served walk out that door and get behind the wheel of vehicle, or when they hear that drinks are the reason for blowing off a family engagement, or they know someone they like isn't going to make it into work the next day.... or if they find out that one of their regulars has died from an alcohol related disease.

It hurts them, and it has an affect. For whatever reason, they like their job. They like the people who handle themselves, they like the serving industry... it could be a billion things. For some of them (like one of my best girlfriends) it's the only job they've ever had.... or ever want. Still, they don't like to see people suffer and some even refuse to serve individuals who they think are harming themselves... but they've decided to leave the responsibility for that choice square on the plate of the person buying the beverage.

A bar is often only as depraved as the patrons who frequent it. A drink (like a gun) is dangerous in the hand of a person who would abuse it.

I once abused alcohol. I don't anymore. I was once dependent on alcohol, and now I'm completely turned off by the idea of it in my body.

However, I love my friends... and not all of them are alcoholics... and not all pub patrons are irresponsible wasteoids. And not every bartender is there to shake you down for every penny you have.

The demon was in me... not in the glass.